The Whirly Girl

Back to School

Posted on: August 24, 2009

As mentioned before, I am a teacher by school day.  One of the lovely perks that comes with this job is summer vacation which, in my opinion, just balances out the l-o-n-g workdays August-May and all those lunch breaks you don’t get.  I digress.

Summer vacation ended last week when my school started on Wednesday.  I spent a good bit of the summer wondering if teaching was still “my thing” because I had such a feeling of dread everytime I so much as thought about the upcoming school year.  If teaching wasn’t for me anymore, I was in big trouble because while I am truly qualified, through experience as well as official teacher training, to teach, it is the only thing I’m qualified to do.  I did a lot of thinking about vocation and if everybody has one.  What if I didn’t want my calling anymore, if I did still have one?  What does it mean that I think I just want to hole up at home forever, cooking and knitting and container gardening?  What changed between the first teaching experience I had at 18 that made me sure beyond the shadow of a doubt that I wanted to be a teacher and now, when just talking about the upcoming school year literally made me tear up, and not with tears of joy?

Through all of that I deduced several things: I still love teaching, love Latin (yes, I’m a Latin teacher), and love working with kids.  What I don’t love, and in fact hate, is being away from home for so much of the day.  I don’t love coming home too tired to even want to cook dinner, when I love to cook.  I don’t love spending all weekend doing the chores I didn’t get to during the week, instead of resting and hanging out with Scott.  So, the problem isn’t with teaching, but with being away from home for most of the day–I don’t like it.  I’m one of those people who doesn’t have to leave the house everyday to be happy.  I am usually much happier at home, working at my home-y things, than out somewhere else.  I wasn’t weeping over teaching, but the prospect of having to choose it over other things at home for the next 10 months with much of a balance.

So, as I’m back-to-schooling this year and enjoying my new crop of young Latin scholars (who are wonderful!), I’m also dreaming of the day when leading a productive life doesn’t mean 10 hours away from home each day. 

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